Forever Changed

We got the call.  We're parents.  I can't explain that joy.......

Here's the run down:

Of the 46 eggs they harvested from me yesterday, only 15 were mature.

I just have to pause here and give some praise.  46 eggs and 15 were mature.  Not 14, not 16, but exactly fifteen.  Fifteen was the maximum number of eggs we had agreed to inseminate based on what we believe and based on our commitment to each embryo as a baby.  What an awesome God we serve!! If only 20 eggs had been collected, as our doctor anticipated, we wouldn't have ended up with enough for insemination.  I thought 46 was overkill, but God knew the perfect number.  Thank you sweet Jesus.

Our doctor expected that if we inseminated 15, we might end up with around 8 that fertilized and became embryos, and when all was said and done, we'd take maybe two or three babies home from the hospital....and he thought that would be a generous estimate. That accounts for embryos that (just like in nature) will stop dividing and are no longer alive and growing, as well as those that are transferred but (just like in nature) never attach to the uterine wall.

So, when we got the call this morning that all fifteen had fertilized, I just about hit the floor.  That's a 100% success rate right there.

Shortly thereafter, were told that two of the embryos did not make it to culture.  That means that they did not survive to make it to their own little home-away-from-home for the next 48ish hours until the transfer.  We mourn the loss of those babies--our babies--and pray that God will envelop them back into His arms, since ours will never get to hold them.  I know that God's plan is perfect, and we simultaneously rejoice in the 13 that are now growing.  We are committed to each and every one of them.  Their shot at life is guaranteed, because we'll come back for them all.

And I'm a mom.  Adam is a dad.  Those are OUR babies--half of me, and half of the man I love.  They're ours, no matter what the outcome.  I've waited so long for this, and the feeling I have just knowing that they're there, waiting for me, brings me to my knees.  Nothing compares.  Nothing.  It's joy like I've never known.  God has been so faithful to us, and His hand ever-present in this whole process. Thank you Lord. 

Our most fervent prayer, for now and for always, is for our babies.  Please join us in praying God's protection over these sweet little ones that are now growing and waiting for their chance at life.  Some of them will wait longer than others, and we ask you to join us in praying that God will "gather the little lambs in His arms, and carry them close to His heart" as He promises to do in Isaiah 40:11.  They are precious to us, just as they are to God. 

Those are our babies.  All 13 of them.  And we are in love.