I'm starting (instead of ending) with a prayer request..because this post is long, and if you read nothing else I want you to read this!!
Prayer Request
Adam and I knew from the beginning of this process that we would not wait until after the first trimester to share the news of our pregnancy. How could we? We’ve asked you to pray with us and to walk this journey alongside us. We have been so touched at how deeply so many of you have felt this right alongside us. Not just the low moments, but also the incredible highs. My heart was so full of love on Thursday, even before we found out, as I read your texts, emails and comments sharing your own excitement and anticipation of the results we had yet to receive. You have felt this with us, and we are touched.
As of today, I’ve five weeks along. I know that qualifies me as just a teeny-tiny bit pregnant. I also know that the first trimester can be a dangerous time for growing babies. And so, our greatest prayer request is that you just cover (smother!) our babies with prayers. That you join us in praying God’s protection over them as they grow and mature inside of me, and that they be delivered safely into our waiting arms in August.
Adam and I have claimed this verse for these babies, and have been praying it over them every night:
“He tends to His flock like a shepherd, He gathers the little lambs in His arms, He carries them close to His heart.” Isaiah 40:11
Will you join us in praying that God will gather these little lambs in His arms and carry them close to His heart? That His mercy and grace will cover their lives from head to toe, and that He will guarantee their continued health and safety over the next 8 months?
Fertilization Report
On Tuesday, December 7th we got our final fertilization report.
Apparently the first time around there had a bit of a miscommunication, because out of the 15 that fertilized, the 13 babies we thought had made it to culture was actually only 12. The others had never divided.
Those 12 were then placed in culture for five days. On the day of our transfer (culture day 5), we had two blastocysts that were healthy and strong and ready for a shot in the baby-maker! Those are the two that were transferred, and we now know, (at least one) attached to the uterine wall.
At that time, the embryologist told us that we had several that had not divided since day 2. She explained that they had “arrested”—meaning, they were no longer growing. She also told us that we had a few others that had begun to degenerate; again, they were no longer dividing. We also had some that looked great—that were on the verge of becoming blasts and were healthy and happy in their culture environment.
After talking about it with our doctor, we decided to hold the “on the verge” embryos in culture for an extra two days to see if they would divide any further. Adam and I made it clear that any division—and we didn’t care if we were talking one cell a week—indicated a living baby and we were determined to give it a shot at life. The embryologist told us it was “improbable” that these babies would ever attach and be born. We told her our God is the miracle-maker, and as long as these babies are dividing, they are alive and precious to us. She agreed to do as we had asked, and freeze any baby that was dividing...regardless of how fast.
Two days after the transfer, we got the call with the final fertilization report. Originally, our doctor had told us to expect that about 1/3 of the fertilized embryos would make it to be transferred and/or frozen. That is just the natural atrophy rate that they undergo. For us, out of our original 12 in culture, we transferred two and froze four….for a total of 6.
When I got that news, I immediately felt hot little tears running down my face. I was thrilled with the healthy embryos (all four that were frozen had made it to blasts) but was also mourning the loss of our other precious babies. I was already in love with them.
I called Adam, who called OHSU, and we asked for more information about those that we’d lost. I wanted to know everything about their lives, and everything about how they had died. We learned that three had degenerated to the point where no cell division was happening, and the embryo itself was losing its cellular integrity. The other three had all arrested—they were held in culture until day 7 (at our request), and those three hadn’t divided since day 2. That gave us the closure we needed. We believe that life begins at conception, and because we believe that, we also believe that God has already welcomed these precious babies back into His arms….and someday, when we get to heaven, we’ll meet them. Between now and then, I rest in the knowledge that they are in the presence of their Father. And I've asked Him to give them a giant hug from us.
So now here we are. We’ve got babies (hopefully two) in the oven, and four in the frozen nursery. We pray for all six of those babies on a daily basis, and we ask that you join us.
December 16, 2010
As you already know, December 16th was a day that forever changed our lives.
At 7:30AM, we had an appointment at OHSU to have blood drawn. It was a quick appointment—just a needle stick—and then we were headed back to Salem with the understanding that we would hear the news (pregnant or not pregnant) after 2PM.
Adam and I both went to work. Since we wouldn’t hear until late in the afternoon, there was no reason to take the whole day off. Instead, we both took a half-day, and after a very anxious morning, I picked up Adam from work and we went and had lunch. By the time we had finished eating, it was a little after 1, and before heading home we decided to take a drive and tour the tornado damage in and around Aumsville. We had just gotten into Shaw (about five minutes from our house) when my phone started to ring. It was only 1:46. My heart was pounding out of chest.
It was OHSU.
I frantically told Adam to pull the car over, and as soon as it was in park, I thrust my phone into his hands and told him he had to answer. From the moment he picked up the phone, I knew it was good news.
Is this Adam?
Yes
Adam, this is Christie. I have your test results. Are you ready…?
(deep breath, eyes locked with mine) We’re ready
Mandy’s pregnant!!!
(tears, tears, and more tears)
She gave us some other information—my beta level was 144 and my progesterone level was 20 (both good)—and made another appointment for a second blood test to check my levels the following Monday.
But I wasn’t really paying attention to any of that, because I had just found out I was pregnant.
Adam hung up the phone, we prayed prayers of thanksgiving—tears falling, hearts soaring, love abounding—and held each other for a long moment. What precious time. After more than a year of waiting, hoping and praying…our Almighty God, in His goodness and love, absolutely delivered. He walked us through the valley and put our feet on top of the mountain. He is worthy of ALL our praise!!
After that, we needed to tell our family. I had told my parents the week before that I was taking a half-day so that I could surprise Adam with the news while he was at work. However, in reality, this was a set-up so Adam and I could surprise my parents with the news. Since this process hasn’t exactly been secretive, it was really the only way we’d have the opportunity to announce our pregnancy.
The first phone call I made was to my mom. She was out shopping. I told her that I didn’t want to get the call from OHSU all alone, and asked if she would meet me at my parent’s house to wait it out with me. Of course she agreed.
Then, we drove to my dad’s office. Adam called him and told him I was having car trouble at school—something about the alternator—and asked if he could borrow my dad’s truck to go help me out (we carpool to work). Of course my dad agreed, and said he’d meet Adam in the parking lot to hand off the keys. When he came out of the building, I was standing in the bushes and Adam was on the opposite side. He saw Adam immediately. As he handed Adam the keys, he started asking about what was wrong with the car and offering his jumper cables…..
The whole time he was talking, Adam was grinning at him with this stupid grin on his face.
I think my dad was starting to wonder what was up, and he looked over his shoulder to see what Adam kept looking at. That’s when he saw me. He knew immediately. He enveloped me in his arms as we told him he was going to be a grandpa. What a special, precious moment.
Then we drove to my parent’s house to meet my mom. We decided that I would go in first, and after a few minutes, Adam would follow. So I went inside, found my mom at the kitchen table, and started chatting with her about the day. She was so anxious and excited to hear the news.
We had just started discussing whether or not we should do some shopping while we waited when Adam walked in the door. My mom knew immediately. She screamed, cried, and held us both in gigantic hugs.
After we had celebrated a while, my mom informed me with a smile that she had already known. She said she had been driving to the dog groomer earlier in the day when tears just started rolling down her face. She knew then. God has told her, placed in on her heart, that I was pregnant.
It was such a gift to be able to celebrate with my precious parents.
After that, it was a whirlwind of phone calls. I had been desperately trying to get hold of my brother at work, and Adam had been busy calling all of his family and filling them in. Everyone was excited. We felt so blessed and so loved.
Recent Updates
On Monday, we were back up at OHSU at 7:30 to have everything confirmed with a second blood test. They wanted to see my hormone levels rising appropriately, and just like last time, told us we’d get the news after 2PM.
We were thrilled to find out that my hormone levels had risen from 144 on Thursday to 754 on Monday. They were only looking to see a 60% increase from Thursday to Monday, and clearly, we exceeded that.
Now we are anxiously anticipating 10AM on January 3rd, when we will hear the heartbeat and see how many babies are currently in the oven. We’re praying for two—that’s how many we put in, and that’s how many we want out!
2 comments:
Such good news! I will definitely be praying!
Made me cry! So happy for you!
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