Another week down! A lot of exciting in vitro activity happened this week, and I can’t wait to share it with you!
Before I do, I want to talk about two things that I hear most often from people who are hearing our story for the first time.
1. “Isn’t in vitro just as expensive as adoption? Why don’t you just adopt??”
Yes, it’s true. In vitro is very close in cost to an adoption. And have we considered it? Of course. Have you considered adoption? It’s a beautiful thing. Adoption shouldn’t be reserved for those going through infertility struggles.
And why don’t we “just” adopt? I know I am going to be a mom. I know that before the good Lord takes me from this earth, I will be blessed by the sound of little feet running in my home. I believe that God has laid that promise on my heart, that He has given me a desire and a passion for children that will someday be manifested through my own. I can’t wait for that day. When or how I’ll get there, admittedly I don’t know. I hope and pray that the path to those babies is in vitro, and that we’re zeroing in on a family of our own. But if in vitro turns out not to be our path, then of course we will pursue other options. Of course we will. But before we’ll be able to do that, we’ll need to grieve not being able to have our own. Why? Because I long to see what half of Adam and half of me would look like. Because I long to feel a baby kick inside me. Because God has given me those desires (and I believe that!) and I know I can’t be fully committed to adoption until we have gone down this road and tried everything. It wouldn’t be fair to our adoptive children if I was always thinking but what if..? God would have to close this door and prepare my heart for a new journey—one into adoption—before Adam and I could set foot on that path. Is it possible? Of course it is. But we’re just not there yet.
2. “Isn’t it a little bit soon to be going to in vitro? You’ve only been trying for a year.”
True, we’ve only been trying for a year. And I am very sensitive to this one, because I know there are a lot of people out there who have walked through the heartache of infertility for many more years than we have. But, I also know that it’s different for everyone. For many couples who have been trying for a number of years, their early years may not have been under the guidance of an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). There are many hormonal therapies (read: fertility drugs) that can be prescribed by your PCP or an OB/GYN. Many couples will work with one of those for a few years before seeking out the help of an RE.
For Adam and I, we only saw our PCP for 6 months. As soon as we realized that wasn’t working out, we went to OHSU and began seeing one of the best reproductive endocrinologists in the country. And we worked with him for six more months; we ran the gauntlet of fertility workups, tried some fertility drugs, and monitored my insides by ultrasound each and every month. We got a ton of information about my body and how I work. I know more about my own anatomy now than ever before. And we know there’s a problem. And we know that it’s not going to work itself out. We know that our path to parenthood is in vitro. We feel blessed to have had that figured sooner rather than later.
I know that every person who asks these questions is coming from a place of good intention; infertility is a struggle you can’t fully understand until you experience it, and these types of questions are really only an expression of interest in the process and in the journey. I know that, and I can answer them with a smile. God has placed us on this path for a reason, and I can rest assured in that knowledge. Adam and I feel such a peace that this is our path. We know it’s not the path for everyone; but it is the path for us.
This week, we hit some big in vitro milestones!
The biggest of which came on Wednesday, when we found out that the bulk of the money was due the following day…and if it was late, we’d forfeit this cycle. Surprise!
After a little bit of frantic discussion and planning, my wonderful husband was able to flex his schedule at work and orchestrate a wire transfer from our bank…phew! We both let out a huge exhale once that was taken care of. BIG item checked off the list.
The other thing that happened this week was the completion of our screening tests, and the trial transfer/saline infusion/follicular count. I know—that’s a lot of things all rolled into one. Let me see if I can break that down for you:
1. The trial transfer is a very minor procedure where our doctor mimicked threading the catheter (that will eventually hold the embryos) into the uterus. This is to measure the shape and length of my cervix and uterus so that the actual transfer will go smoothly. It was a completely painless procedure with just a little bit of mild cramping after.
2. The saline infusion is when a small syringe of saline is injected into my uterus so the doctors can check for cysts. Thankfully, my uterus looked great and ready for in vitro!
3. The last part of the procedure is the part I’m a pro at: vaginal ultrasounds. This time, the doctor was just checking to see how many follicles I had in each ovary. The more follicles I have, the better our chances will be for stimulating them through the IVF process. Finally, polycystic ovaries come in handy!!
Once those tests were over, my screening was complete and we were sent home to await the development of our protocol (IVF medication plan). I was very anxious all week to get the call that it was ready, and finally today (at 4:55 no less!) I got the call I’ve been waiting for. Protocol is READY! We are heading back up to Portland on Thursday the 28th to get all the important dates, to order our medication, to learn how to give injections (Adam gets to learn how to give them to me) and to sign all our consent paperwork. It’s go time!!!
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