Lainey Rose: Five Months

Lainey Rose, you are now five months olds!  The next time I write, you’ll be halfway to your first birthday.  That is really unfathomable to me.  Every day with you is such a gift.  I just can’t wait for the next one!

Here’s what you’ve been up to this month:

• You started tripod sitting up about a week and a half before your five month mark!  You’re getting better at it every day, and can sit unassisted for long period of time now!  You usually lose your balance when you get really excited and start kicking your legs, OR when you see something you want and fold in on yourself while trying to get it in your mouth ;)

• Speaking of your mouth….we’ve officially reached the stage where EVERYTHING goes there!  You have noticed my necklaces, earrings, scarves….really anything that dangles or looks shiny.   You’ve also decided that you’d like to nibble on anything we have, especially if it’s something we’ve putting in OUR mouths!  Can’t blame a girl for wanting a snack :)

• You SQUEAL!  You have the most precious baby squeal, and you will just talk and talk to anyone who will listen.  I cannot even tell you how much I love this!   Pretty much anytime we go anywhere in the car, you’ll use the travel time to tell me all about everything in your little world.  I wish I could record it while driving….these are memories with you I will cherish always!  I never want to forget the sound of your sweet little voice.

• You roll pretty regularly from your tummy to your back now, and all of a sudden decided you like tummy time!  You’ll do baby push ups and reeeeach and stretch for toys that are just out of your reach.  It amazes me to watch you.  I can’t even begin to think of you as being old enough to crawl…but then I watch how you stretch and kick and wiggle trying to get something you want, and I realize that it will be soon.  I’m just not sure how we got five months into your little life already. 

•  The big news  of the month was FOOD!  We started you on baby food as an effort to try and control your reflux.  The jury is still out on whether or not that worked, but the jury is NOT out as to whether or not you like food.  Girlfriend, you.like.food.  I often cannot get that spoon in your mouth fast enough for your liking.  You get so excited when you see it coming—open mouth, hands waving all around, shaking your face back and forth while you reach excitedly for the spoon in an effort to speed along the process.  Makes me laugh every single time!  Your favorites so far are definitely apples, bananas, and squash.  You’ve also had sweet potatoes, pears (this was the first food we tried with you!), peas, green beans, and carrots.  I think I’ll going to try avocados with you next month (this was your brother’s FAVORITE food for a very long time!)

• You are wearing size 2 diapers if we put you in disposables, we unbuttoned your cloths to the highest rise, and mostly 6 and 6-9 month clothes.  I can still fit you in a lot of 3-6 month things as well, which is nice because you have the cutest summer clothes and I am determined to get as much wear as possible out of them before I have to put them away! 

• The last time you were at the doctor’s office (we had to take you back for a reoccurance of thrush that turned out to be nothing….thank heavens!) you weighed 15.5 pounds!!!  We were so excited!  Gone are the days of poor weight gain for our little nugget!

•  In terms of how much you eat, right now you’re getting 5 bottles of 6 ounces of breast milk a day.  You also eat 2 ounces of baby food twice a day (lunch and dinner).  Little lovebug, drinking bottles is not your favorite.  We often struggle to convince you to drink your milk, but we are getting it done!  You usually stop after 3 ounces and then want to be done.  This is why breastfeeding you was so hard—you always wanted to stop after an ounce or two and I wouldn’t know!  I really am convinced this had a lot to do with your poor weight gain at first.  Since I’ve been pumping for you and we put you on bottles…we’ve seen steady weight gain! 

• We’ve finally been able to get some pretty great giggles out of you!!  You are ticklish on your side and under your armpit…I can usually get a giggle that way.  You also love when daddy and I make faces at you while you’re lying on your back, or when I give you kisses on your cheeks.  Sometimes I just make funny faces at you and silly noises and you’ll reward me with the sweetest little giggle.  I may look ridiculous, but that little sound is music to my ears!  Worth it.

• I know I say it every single month, but baby girl, you are so happy.  Truly.  I’ve never met a baby as genuinely joyful as you are.  You hardly ever cry.  You smile at everyone.  And your smile lights up a room.  I’m so so honored to be your mommy.  Seeing you full of such joy brings me more joy than I can ever say.  I just love you.

• You are still our amazing little sleeper!  You take a 2 hour nap in the morning from 9-11,and then an afternoon nap from 1-3.  We start bedtime routine at 7, and you are usually down by 7:30 without a peep until we get you up around 6:30 the next morning.   We just took away your swaddle this week, and you’ve done amazing!   Everyone is always blown away when I talk about what a great sleeper you are—and you have always put yourself to sleep!  We just lay you down and you do your thing. 

• You still love your brother.  You love watching whatever he’s doing, and will often turn your head towards him in the car and just stare at him the whole time we’re driving.  He loves the attention ;)

• You had your first time in the church nursery this month (okay, technically it was just AFTER you turned 5 months old…but I’m sure I’ll forget by the time I write your six month post so I better include it now!)  You did great!  You are just so easy going.  I’ve loved keeping you with me in the service, but you are so vocal now and those happy little squeals were just a little much during the sermon ;)

• Your favorite toys this month are your JUMPEROO (goodness you love to jump!) and anything that can be stuffed into your mouth (burp cloths, towels, Toby’s tail…..)

•  I can’t believe I almost forgot to mention….YOUR FIRST TOOTH!  It came in this month J  You have one sweet little tooth on the bottom—middle left.  I think your middle right may also be coming in (judging by the gnawing and the drool) but nothing has poked through yet.  You were  a champ while teething!  I didn’t even know until you chomped down on my finger one day and I felt the little ridge of the tooth poking through.  Not going to lie, I was sad when your brother’s first tooth came in and I was sad when yours did.  It’s the end of an era.  That sweet gummy baby smile will soon be no more.  I will miss it!

 

Lainey, I’m just loving all of your moments.   While that’s been true from the beginning, this month I’ve really focused on savoring them.  Life is so fleeting.  Moments can be stolen from us in the blink of an eye, and my love, I just don’t want to let a single one go by without being fully present in it.  You are far too precious of a gift.  

Earlier this month, a sweet friend of mine died.  She was much too young, and her absence left a huge hole in the heart’s of all those who knew her.  Losing Shannon made me think about you, and this life, and each day that I get to spend with you and your brother.  I can’t imagine not having you here with me.  I can’t imagine a world without you or your brother in it. I take for granted the days we spend together, and I assume that I’m always going to be here—that you’re going to grow up, and I’m going to watch every season of your life unfold.  But, sweetheart, the reality is we don’t have that guarantee.  I’ll admit I panicked a little and my heart caught in my throat as I thought about the possibility of not being here to experience each of your days.   But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the best gift I can give you as your mom is not me.  It’s not.     

The best gift that I can give to you is Jesus in me.

Baby girl, I want to show you Jesus by the way your daddy and I live our lives.  I want you to see Him in me, because I want you to grow up and fall in love with the Creator of the Universe.  My presence in your life is just not enough.  Its meaningless if it’s not about Him. 

I don’t know how many tomorrows we’ll have—I pray there are many, many, many—but no matter what, know that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is one that will never, ever leave you.  It’s Jesus, Lainey.  It’s Him.  It will always be Him.

I love you baby girl.  Always and forever.

Your Mama 

Sweet Shannon,

I’ve started and stopped this letter at least a dozen times today.   I just can’t seem to get it right.  For someone who prides herself in being a ‘words girl’…..there just aren’t any.  Not for this.  Breast cancer shouldn’t claim the life of such a beautiful, vibrant, 27-year old.  The only word I have is speechless.  

I’ve spent the day remembering you.   Thinking back through all the seasons of our friendship, and reliving all the moments we shared together as friends.  I let my mind linger on the sound of your voice, your laugh, and your passion for life.  

I still can’t believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe you’re gone.

For the past 16 months, I watched you fight.  I watched you go through horrific chemotherapy treatments that left you sick and your body weak.  I watched you lose your hair.  I watched you go through things that the rest of us cannot even fathom having to endure, and my friend, I was truly inspired by your courage.  You fought.  You faced cancer with a dignity and a strength that far surpassed your years.    You never let cancer define you.  You never once complained.  Courage.  For me, that word will always be synonymous with Shannon Brahmer.

You were there to watch my family grow from two to four, and you were always there to check in on or celebrate with me as life unfolded through each season.   I’ll never forget how you were texting to check in on me as we went through our second IVF—you checking on me when you’d just found out that you had cancer and your own family would have to be put on hold.   You’ll never know what that meant to me.   I was in awe of you then, and as I watched you battle each day with such determination and resolve….I was even more in awe.  Incredible doesn’t even begin to define you.  I will never forget the lessons in friendship that I found in watching you live your life.  You have always been selfless.  You have always poured love into everyone around you.  The loss of your gentle, sweet spirit has left a hole that simply cannot be filled. 

It has been my great honor and privilege to call myself your friend.  My heart is bigger and more full because you touched it, and for as long as I live, there will be a Shannon-sized hole where I will forever carry your memory. 

I love you, sweet friend.  Thank you for the beautiful ways you impacted my life.  Thank you for being an example of strength, and dignity, and love. 

I’ll never, ever forget.

Lainey Rose: Four Months

Well Miss. Lainey Rose, you are now FOUR months old!  How did this happen?!  I blinked and now here we are.  What an incredible four months with you in the world, baby girl.  Here’s what you’ve been up to this month:

• You now weigh 14 pounds and are 25.5 inches long.  You’re in the 50^th percentile for weight, 90^th for height, and 10^th for height/weight combined.  You are still our long and lean baby girl

• You still wear mainly 6 month clothing, although you can wear 3 month pants and shirts too.   3 month onesies are too short on you because you’re so long!  There are a few 9 month outfits I’ve put you in recently and they seem to fit pretty well too.

• You take two good naps a day—I think we’ve finally hit our groove!  You now nap from 9:30-11:30 and then again from 1-3 in the afternoon.  You are just the best little sleeper baby girl!

• You and Blake are now taking baths together, which you both love!  Blake will pour water over your tummy while daddy washes your hair, and you’ll smile and coo at him the whole time. 

• Our bedtime routine is usually a bottle at 7, bath, and then bed.  Daddy and I think you’re ready to start adding in a storytime before bed, so that will probably be something we start this month!  You sleep until between 6-6:30 in the morning—rockstar sleeper!!

• This month we brought out the jumperoo, and you LOVE it!  You jump pretty well in it, which I don’t remember Blake doing until he was quite a bit older!  I got an adorable video of you jumping the other day.  You thought you were SUCH big stuff.

• Still smiling all.the.time.  Baby girl, that smile of yours lights up a room.  And your dimple!  Goodness.  I don’t know where you got it, but it just kills me. 

• I’ve gotten a few belly laughs out of you this month, but nothing consistent.   You’ll giggle at me when I kiss your toes or play ‘this little piggy’ with you, which I think is pretty adorable, and I am so looking forward to being able to hear that sweet little laugh more often!  Daddy is also very anxious, because he hasn’t been able to get a giggle out of you yet

• About a week ago, you started grabbing at toys!  Right now, you really love your little bear blanket that goes in your carseat with you.  I love looking back in the rear view mirror to see you literally stuffing your face with that teddy bear.  Your little eyes are just so focused and so concentrated on getting  your hands to work for you.  Love watching you learn!!

• You rolled once from back to tummy this month, which was exciting!  You’ll often roll yourself onto your side. 

• You are so well behaved no matter where we go.  It is so easy to take you places!  I just love looking down at you in the cart and seeing those bright eyes staring back at me.  As soon as you catch my eye, you’ll smile big and wide and that little dimple pops out on your right cheek. Love you so much princess!

It seems like four months have passed in the blink of an eye.  I read back through your previous monthly posts, and its shocking to me how quickly you’ve grown and changed.  I spend every single day with you, but it isn’t until I take the time to reflect on all the days past that I realize how much of your little life has already gone by.  Oh baby girl, do you have any idea how much you are loved?  This summer with you has been the best of my life.  I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to spend my days loving on my sweet baby girl and her big brother.  You two are my heart and soul.   God has blessed our family with riches far greater than anything that could be measured by the standards of this world.  Our greatest value is found in one another.  As hard as is it for my mama heart to realize how quickly your infancy is passing, I’m also so excited to experience the fullness and richness of each season with you.   Never forget Lainey.  Never forget that you have been loved every moment of every day. 

All my love, sweet girl

Your Mama

Lainey Rose: Three Months

Baby girl, you turned THREE months old over the weekend!  That means we are officially ¼ the way through your first year of life. Really not sure how that happened so fast!

We’ve had such an incredible month with you little one.  You’ve grown and changed and filled our lives with more joy than we knew was possible.   I have a feeling I’ll be saying that every month, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

Here’s what you are up to:

• ·     You are SQUEALING!  It’s the most joyful sound I’ve ever heard.  You are just so full of happiness.  You’ll lie on your back and coo and coo and then just start squealing and smiling and kicking your feet.  So precious.  I had one of those moments (the kind that will forever  be filed away in the memory banks of my heart) yesterday when we were at  your Great Grandma Mary’s house celebrating her 85^th birthday.  I was sitting on the floor with you, Blake was climbing on the couch behind me, and your daddy was sitting in a chair a few feet away.  You were just so happy and so talkative.  Blake was reading a book to himself and flashing you cheesy grins every now and then, and my heart was just overflowing. With gratitude.  With love.  With such an intense feeling of contentment.  It felt like we had arrived.  There we were, a happy, healthy family of four enjoying each other and the people we love.  I never realized just how much was missing from that picture until you arrived. You have filled in a piece of our family puzzle that was vital to the whole picture.  I can’t even tell you how loved you are.  There aren’t words.

• ·     The story of your third month of life has been thrush.  Holy cow, little one.  Very shortly after you turned 2 months old we noticed a white coating all over your tongue.  That quickly spread to the insides of your cheeks and back of your lips, and by the time daddy and I realized what it was, it was a pretty bad case of thrush.  You’ve been to the doctor a handful of times, we’ve tried every medication that’s available, and you still have it.  The anti-fungal medication we use drastically reduced it, so now there’s just a few small patches that we can’t seem to get rid of.  Daddy and I are just waiting on your immune system to figure it out at this point.

•       I’m now exclusively pumping for you and you take bottles.  You drink 6 ounces, five times a day.  The initial switch to bottle feeding came after we treated your thrush initially with something called gentian violet.  Unfortunately for you, you are in the 1-5% of all babies who are allergic to this medication…and it gave you mouth ulcers all over the inside of your cheeks, roof of your mouth, and down the back of your throat.  Broke my heart!  It was horrible.  It hurt you to breastfeed, or really to eat in general, so you refused.  We were able to coax you to drink a bottle by walking around the house bouncing and distracting you, and well….that was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. After your ulcers healed, you did return to breastfeeding, but when the thrush wouldn’t go away I stopped again thinking that maybe you were somehow getting it from me.  Now you just prefer bottles.  And I’m just happy you’re eating and gaining weight so well, so I’m happy to do whatever works the best for you  

• You weigh 13 pounds and are still wearing size 1 diapers.  Although, we rarely put you in disposables since your cloth diapered bottom is so darn adorable!  You’re wearing mostly 6 month clothes, although I can still put you in 3 month things. 

• You love your brother, and he loves you right back!  He loves to help you when your pacifier falls out of your mouth, and he loves to mimic all the sounds that you make.  And little one, you adore him.   Every once in a while we bathe you two together at night, and every time we do you grin from ear to ear at him in the tub.  Your daddy and I think this is just precious, because on the nights you take a bath by yourself, we are hard pressed to get a smile out of you.  I love your sweet relationship with Blake and hope you always look up to him!

• You giggled at mommy for the first time this month!  I was smiling and cooing and playing peekaboo with you lying on your play mat, and you gave me the brightest most beautiful smile and let out an adorable little giggle. Melted my heart baby girl!  I called daddy right away to brag on the fact that I got your first giggle.  He was pretty jealous ;) Since then, you’ve giggled a few more times and I think it is the sweetest sound.

• I have been so proud of you this month as we’ve taken you out and about.  You do so well.  You just love to be out and about and give out smiles so easily.  Everyone loves you.  I just cannot get over what a beautiful smile you have.  It lights up your whole face and my heart just swells.  I cannot get enough of you baby girl!

• You are still my rockstar sleeper! We feed you your last bottle at 7PM, then put you in the bath and in bed.  You’re usually in bed by 7:30 and sleep straight through until 6AM.  Naps during the day are hit or miss.  You usually take your morning nap really well, from 9-11, but your afternoon nap usually involves me going into your room at least a dozen times to put your pacifier back in your mouth.  Or, on days like today, more like a hundred times.  HA!

• You are kind of over lying on your back, but love to sit up in your bumbo, be carried on my hip, or sit up in your Combi car!  I’ll admit, seeing you in that car brings back so many memories of your big brother.  It was one of his favorites too! :)

• Your reflux is still ridiculous.  Ridiculous.  You spit up so much, so often.  Daddy and I cannot wait for you to grow out of that.  It’s just so horrible.  I keep you in bibs all the time, unless you’re in your crib.  We easily go through 10 bibs a day as you soak them.  Like I said, horrible. 

• You’ve rolled over a few more times from your tummy to your back, but still not consistently.  You seem to surprise yourself when you flip over!

• You are starting to bat at your toys on your play mat and things I hold in front of your face.  You'll also wave toys around that I put in your hands, but you usually look at me like I'm crazy when I do that.  Once in a while you'll bring a toy I've given  you to your mouth for a little exploration, so I don't think it will be long before you're into all your fun toys!  I can't wait baby girl, because you have the cutest little girl toys!!

What an incredible little girl you are, Lainey Rose.  I spend each day excited for the next moment we’ll spend together.  You have filled our lives with such joy.  I hope you never forget how cherished you are.  Before you were born I worried about how I would love another baby the same way that I loved your big brother….oh but sweet girl if I had only known.  The love was there the moment you were born.  It grew.  I can’t even remember what life was like without you, and each day my heart falls more and more hopelessly in love with the precious little girl that you are.  We are so blessed by our you, our little Lainey Rose.  I cannot wait to see how God will use his little bright light to do great things for His kingdom.  I pray for it every single day sweet girl!  

We love you endlessly.  Forever and ever.

-     ~ Your Mama