Grace Like Rain

Sweet Shannon,

I’ve started and stopped this letter at least a dozen times today.   I just can’t seem to get it right.  For someone who prides herself in being a ‘words girl’…..there just aren’t any.  Not for this.  Breast cancer shouldn’t claim the life of such a beautiful, vibrant, 27-year old.  The only word I have is speechless.  

I’ve spent the day remembering you.   Thinking back through all the seasons of our friendship, and reliving all the moments we shared together as friends.  I let my mind linger on the sound of your voice, your laugh, and your passion for life.  

I still can’t believe I’m writing this. I can’t believe you’re gone.

For the past 16 months, I watched you fight.  I watched you go through horrific chemotherapy treatments that left you sick and your body weak.  I watched you lose your hair.  I watched you go through things that the rest of us cannot even fathom having to endure, and my friend, I was truly inspired by your courage.  You fought.  You faced cancer with a dignity and a strength that far surpassed your years.    You never let cancer define you.  You never once complained.  Courage.  For me, that word will always be synonymous with Shannon Brahmer.

You were there to watch my family grow from two to four, and you were always there to check in on or celebrate with me as life unfolded through each season.   I’ll never forget how you were texting to check in on me as we went through our second IVF—you checking on me when you’d just found out that you had cancer and your own family would have to be put on hold.   You’ll never know what that meant to me.   I was in awe of you then, and as I watched you battle each day with such determination and resolve….I was even more in awe.  Incredible doesn’t even begin to define you.  I will never forget the lessons in friendship that I found in watching you live your life.  You have always been selfless.  You have always poured love into everyone around you.  The loss of your gentle, sweet spirit has left a hole that simply cannot be filled. 

It has been my great honor and privilege to call myself your friend.  My heart is bigger and more full because you touched it, and for as long as I live, there will be a Shannon-sized hole where I will forever carry your memory. 

I love you, sweet friend.  Thank you for the beautiful ways you impacted my life.  Thank you for being an example of strength, and dignity, and love. 

I’ll never, ever forget.