A Different Kind of Mother's Day

I woke up this morning and the first thought that ran through my head was simple: today is Mother's Day.

This is the first time I've ever celebrated the day with a baby in my arms.

And yet, as much as I've anticipated what this day would feel like, now that it's here...I can clearly see that it's not the first year I have celebrated being a mother.

Before I ever held Blake in my arms, I held that precious baby in my heart.  I prayed for him, planned for him, loved him and waited for him.  I dreamed of his future, I planned out his nursery, imagined the things I'd do and say with him.  I've been his mother since the beginning of time.  God planned him for me since before either of us took our first breaths.  The road we took to one another was a little bit more twisted and broken than I ever imagined it would be, but we're here now.  And standing here, in this place, looking back over the road traveled....I'm grateful for what it took to get here.  The potholes, flat tires and unforeseen detours were the very obstacles that led me to this moment, that shaped me into the woman that would be sitting here this morning while a baby boy sleeps peacefully down the hall.

And I think, it's in looking back that I find myself overwhelmed with a new understanding of the celebration of Mother's Day.

As I've said before, I truly believe that motherhood is a calling.  It is literally written upon the heart of a woman by the Creator, and just like any other calling that is divinely-inspired, it cuts deep.  It's consuming.  It's transformative.  It defines sacrificial love in a way that simply cannot be quantified.  And I know that when God raises up a woman and calls her into motherhood, He does so with the perfect understanding of the cost.  He knows her journey. He knows what will be asked of her through every turn and twist and pothole, and He knows that He has chosen the perfect person to weather the storm.  He knows that in the end He is gifting His precious daughter with a gift that will far surpass her wildest dreams.  And He also know that motherhood is not a destination.  It's a journey.  I haven't 'arrived' because I have Blake in my arms.  I may have thought that this would be the finish line as I was running the race, but man was I wrong.  I'll say it again: motherhood is a calling.  It's a calling I'll pursue my whole life through, as God raises me up to be the woman He intended to raise Blake up.

So as I sit here today, and as I remember all the heartache and brokenness of Mother's Days in the past, I want to speak directly to those still navigating the storms.

Happy Mother's Day.  

I celebrate your calling, your unconditional love, and your commitment to the precious children your arms ache to hold.  Please don't forget, in those dark valleys and in every detour, that you have been a mother since the beginning of time.  This journey you're on, it's long and it can be terrifying to not see what's ahead...but my dear, dear sister please know that it's that very heartache that assures you you've already arrived.  God has called you to motherhood, and where he calls....he enables. 

Today I am on my knees thanking God for the blessing of the call.  This road has been the single most important one I have ever traveled, and it will continue to be the greatest journey of my life.