The Release

Our pastor gave a wonderful sermon today at church.

So often, Mother’s Day sermons are focused on the incredible gift God has given us in a mother, and on all the ways that we are called to honor and respect the unique role that God has prepared especially and only for them.  And focusing on that is right and good.  A mother is an undeniable gift that God chose to bestow on us in our humanity, and as such, they should be honored and revered for the godly women God raised them up to be.  Godly mothers are a precious gift sent from the Father straight to earth. 

But in giving a sermon focused solely on that part of motherhood, year after year, a significant number of hearts are left out.  Heart that are called to motherhood, and yet may find themselves with empty arms.

And so today, I found my heart touched and tenderized by a sermon on the 1 Samuel woman; on Hannah.

Hannah was a woman who believed that God had called her to motherhood, and yet, she found her arms ached with the emptiness of a child.   We're told that God has "closed her womb".  She was despondent.  The Bible tells us that she “wept bitterly”.  She went before the Lord and made a vow, crying out, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

Hannah pleaded desperately for God to answer her prayer for a son.  This is the part of her story that is familiar to many of us. 

But it’s the part that comes after that spoke to my heart as our pastor read the words today. 

I’ve read the story of Hannah and cried it out countless times, but I’d never stopped to ponder exactly what happened in verses 17 and 18.  It stopped me cold today.  In those verses, after Hannah had finished crying out to God, the Bible tells us that, “…she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.”  On a first read, it’s pretty easy to brush right past those words. 

But I want to linger there for a minute. 

Hannah laid her requests before the Lord, she poured out her heart and left her anguish at His feet.  And then, she walked away.  Her face was no longer downcast.  She trusted God with the desire that He authored.  She dedicated her child, the one that she had yet to receive into her arms, to the Almighty God in faith and then released him into His care.   

Our pastor stopped there to make the point that God is big enough. Godly parenting means understanding the release; it means being willing to declare our full dedication of the children we pray for—either the ones we hold in our arms or the ones we are waiting to receive—and then to trust God to take it from there.

Wow.  That's big for me.  Walking through infertility made me dependent on the Father, but the release has always been hard.  Relinquishing my own meager representation of control in favor of His protection and care is a daily struggle.  And I think it's so hard because motherhood is a calling.  As God beckons us into relationship with Him, He draws near to our hearts and makes known His plan for our lives.  I've always known that my greatest calling in life was to motherhood.  I believe God wrote that promise on my heart from before I was ever born into this world.  And because I feel called so strongly, my desire to protect that God-given dream is almost insurmountable.  It can seem overwhelming.  But today, God made it so clear to me that I can trust Him with the desire He authored.  That I can just give it to Him.  That I can listen to His whispered assurances to my heart, and I can let him quiet my fears.  Because He is big enough. 

There are so many hurting hearts today.  So many 1 Samuel women who are desperately crying out to God and yearning for arms that are full with the blessing of a baby.  I know what that feels like.  My heart is tenderized to the journey.  And today, I’m praying for each of you.  I’m praying for God to draw near to your heart, that He may whisper assurances and grant you a peace that passes all understanding.   

I also pray that we all look to Hannah as an example of the faith we are called to.  Don't let your face be downcast.  Lay it at His feet.  Trust God with the desire that He has authored, because He is big enough.