Here we go IN VITRO: Week 5

I’m going to start this week’s update with a confession.

This week, four friends and/or acquaintances announced that their families are expecting a new addition.  And, as much as I’m ashamed to admit it, my heart still clenches every single time I hear that news.  Along with the incredible joy I feel for these amazing families, there is also a selfish spot that wants to spend a few moments in mourning for myself, and for the family that we have yet to see grow.  I’m embarrassed that I still have those moments, because I know that I need to ditch the sense of entitlement. 

The fact of the matter is God doesn’t owe me anything.  As much as I’d like to think that I am, I’m not entitled to a baby simply because I want one.  I’m also not entitled because I try to be a good person, or because I love God, or because I know in my heart of hearts that I would be a good mom.  I’m not entitled because I’m unworthy of the blessing. 

When God chooses to bless us with the absolutely miraculous gift of life, He is entrusting us with one of His children.  Have you ever thought of it that way?! God is literally gifting us with the one thing He considers most precious on this earth.  He is trusting us to love on and nurture this miraculous little human so that it will grow to know Him, to walk with Him, and to light up a dark world with His love.   We are raising these babies for Him. 

W-O-W. What love the Father has for us, that He would choose to entrust us with a job so valuable! 

As much as my heart yearns for the day when God will deliver His miraculous little baby gift into our hands, I know that my prayer—now and always—needs to be this: Lord, teach me to walk with You by faith.

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Since I really don’t have that much new in vitro-wise to report, I’m going to make this a picture update to catch you all up on where we’ve been this week and what we’re working on.  Enjoy!

This week, I’ve been shopping.  Here are a few of the things/colors I’ve picked up for the new master bedroom. 

 Oooh, I love this color.  And yes, I realize I'm not showing you all of the picture; sorry, but I don't want to give away too much until the grand reveal!

That texture is heavenly!  And I'm loving the color more than you know.

This week we've also done some painting.  Adam worked on this....

and I worked on this....

Together, they look kind of like this.....

Yes, I distressed that, and yes, I'm way excited.  I'm not going to tell you why there is a blue door in our bedroom, either.  But I promise it's going to be amazing.  

And because they're cute, I'm going to add in a picture of what my dogs have been doing....

....watching us through the baby gate. 

As far as in vitro goes, we've had a quiet week.  Friday the 19th (this week) we go in for our suppression check, which will consist of a blood draw and an ultrasound.  We are looking to see that the Lupron and birth control have suppressed my ovaries so that we can start stimulating them to produce eggs.  If everything looks good, we will start stimulation medications (basically three shots a day) on the 20th.  

Please join us in praying that this appointment reveals ovaries that are ready to be stimulated.  Even though I know God has already ordained the outcome, I still fight with my own anxiety.  This is an important appointment for us, and we ask that you just cover us in your prayers this week (and especially at 7:30AM on Friday!)

Because this week was a bit boring, I decided to throw in a few pictures.  

Welcome to our bathroom counter....home of lupron, bags of needles, a Sharps container, and bags of alcohol swabs.  

This is Lupron.  I take 20cc of this every night.  

Ah, used needles.  Don't worry, they're in a Sharps container, and I've been tested for anything and everything under the sun.  If you're going to be stuck with a needle, mine is the one you want to be stuck with. 

This week, we did head up to OHSU to pick up the rest of the prescriptions we'll need for this process.  It's never a good sign when they bring out two bags that look like this.

That's a lot of drugs, folks.