OHSU

Lately, I've come to relish my quiet moments with God in a renewed way.  I'm hungry for them. I can't wait to carve out time in my day to encounter God in a new way.

Often, for me, these moments often take place as I travel from point A to point B alone in my car.  I crank up my Christian music, turn off my brain, open my heart and just listen and praise God for who He is and what He has done.   It's become a treasured time for me--a time to hang out with my Heavenly Father and just pour out my heart.  I literally picture myself sitting in Heaven's throne-room, wrapped in the loving arms of my Savior as we sit and talk about who I am and who He is in me.  I love these moments, because I can feel His arms holding me, and I can sense His Holy Spirit whispering words of love into my very soul.  It rejuvenates my soul. 

This past week, I was having a quiet time with God as I was driving down Highway 22 after dropping Adam off at work.  I was feeling scared and anxious about the upcoming ultrasound at OHSU, and I was telling God about my fears.   I was telling Him how much I want this trial to be over, I was praying for healing, but I was also committing every moment--every step--to His glory.  If this ends tomorrow, I will praise God for his faithfulness and His love.  If this ends in a year, I will praise God for his faithfulness and His love twofold.  If this ends in five years, my praises will not cease.  Why?  Because my heart understand that this is my cross.  This is my journey, this is the path God has laid out for me.  Jesus surrended His will to the greater plan, and when He tells us to take up our daily crosses, He speaks as One who was crucified.   It's humbling to think about. 

I was reading the book Godology by Christian George this week, and there was a description of faith that really struck me.  George wrote, "Christian joy is greatest when the cross is heaviest."  Wow.  Really?  How can you be joyous in the face of life's potholes?  It seems counter-intuitive, and yet, it is so true.  This year has been painful beyond anything else I've ever experienced, but my joy has never been greater.  I have encountered God and He has changed me.  Molded my heart.  Filled in the little holes so it beats only for Him.  I am infinitely grateful for the chance to know my Savior in such an intimate way. 

In the same book, the author relays an amazing discussion between a trapeze artist and a curious onlooker.  The description captures such a tender image of our God, and I wanted to share it: 

"As a flyer, I must have complete trust in my catcher.  The public might think I am the great star of the trapeze, but the real star is Joe, my catcher.  He has to be there for me with split-second precision, and grab me out of the air as I come to him in the long jump...The secret is that the flyer does nothing and the catcher does everything."

"Nothing?" The man replied.

"Nothing.  The worst thing a flyer can do is try and catch the catcher.....If I grab Joe's wrist I might break them, or he might break mine, and that would be the end of both of us.  A flyer must fly, and a catcher must catch, and the flyer must trust, with outstretched arms, that the catcher will be there for him. "

Wow.  Isn't that an amazing description of living with and for God?  In this life, it's not about what we do, because it all points back to Him.  We are who He made us to be, and God never drops his catch.  In the circus of life, we release the trapeze and soar...all the while secure in the knowledge that we can trust our Catcher.  Christ never loses what He wins.  God will never let us fall.
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I want to end this by saying that our appointment at OHSU went very well.  We are very encouraged, and have had our prayers answered in that we saw clear signs that the hormone therapy worked this month.  We go back on Thursday (our 3 year anniversary) to check again and have a definitive answer for what we can expect to see happen this month.  It makes me giggle to see how God orchestrated my cycle, and our appointments, so that this very special and important day will fall on the 3-year anniversary of our commitment to God and each other.  Touche, God, touche. :) He is so good, and His timing so perfect. 

We also want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the prayers and encouragement.  We felt them on Sunday as we waited for the doctor--just a sense of peace and the knowledge that we were being uplifted.  We ask you to continue those prayers as we wait to see what Thursday will bring.

Love and hugs,
A&M