In the valley

Well hello again :)

Today we had a mid-cycle check up at OHSU.  We had been hoping to see that the hormone therapy I have been on for the past month has worked and set us back on track for baby-making, but unfortunately, that was not to be.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dissapointed.  It was a tearful drive home.

Even though it's tough--heartbreaking, really--to hear that the past month hasn't changed anything, I wouldn't go back and change a second of this journey. Not one second. Check this out:

A month ago, I got to sit in the parking lot of Adam's office for two hours as we poured out our hearts to each other, and I got to hold his hand and pray with him as he rededicated his life to Christ.  God could not have given me a more precious gift. 

In two weeks, I'll get to sit in the church I grew up in and watch as my dad baptizes the love of my life in the same baptismal I was baptized in so many years ago.  And my dad baptized me, too.

Is the timing of those events a coincidence?  Never.  God has already used this journey to accomplish great things, and I know that He will continue to do so.  He has touched our hearts and broken our will (not my will, but Your will be done), and shown us how to live for Him, to see His will be done, and to keep our eyes fixed on heaven as we walk through this life He has given us.   We praise Him for his faithfulness, for the amazing doctors at OHSU that He has placed in our lives for such a time as this, and for the promise of what's to come.

I don't have the answers.  I don't know where this road will lead.  I'm human; I feel scared, I feel alone, and I feel broken.  But it's not my humanity that defines me.  I'm none of those things.  I'm being held in the biggest bear hug by my Lord and Savior, and I have faith in the knowledge that He won't let go.  Ever.

I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I cannot see, I still believe.

Thanks for sharing this journey with us.  We again ask for prayer; specifically, for God to work his magic on my body so that when we return to OHSU on Wednesday, we will be met with some positive news.  "And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26


Until next time,

A&M