Finish Line

This week I've been fixated on the image of runners in a race. 

For most of my life, I feel like my goal has been to win.  To get there first.  To be the best.  I feel like I've been zipping around the race track of life, side-stepping other runners and lapping those who have fallen behind.  Once in a while, I'll glance to the sidelines and throw a thumbs up to God, as if to say, "Hey, check me out Lord!  I so got this."

I think that needs to change.

The Bible tells us in Luke 9:24 (and again in Matthew, and again in John) that, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."  For me, it all points back to one simple truth that God has been inscribing on my heart:  it's not about me.  I'm not running this race for me.  The prize is not mine to win, because I've already received the greatest gift of all: eternal life with my Lord and Savior.  And I didn't do anything to earn it. 

So I think my view of the race track is shifting.  Instead of surging to the front to take the lead, I've decided to fall back.  To come alongside my teammates, to whisper words of encouragement when the going gets tough, and to cross the finish line together.  And I think that's the point.  If the finish line is heaven, I want as many people as possible from my life on earth to arrive with me.  My own little world is not about me.  

Daily Devotions

Ever since my brother and I went away to college, my precious mama has been sending a daily Bible verse and email note to my inbox each and every morning.  When Adam and I were married, she added his email to her list of recipients.  So, every morning when I open my email, I can count on an enouraging note and Bible verse from my mom.  I love it.  When my babies are grown and out of my house, I hope to do the same for them.

Today's verse and message really hit home and I wanted to share.

"And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned." (Mark 16:15-16 NLT)

Devotion: Do any signs accompany me that evidence I have a relationship with You? This world needs to see examples of Your reality, love, and power in action. Do whatever You need to do in my life to awaken me, change me, and equip me to do what You need me to do.

Amen and hallelujah. 

For me, lately this guy has been my inspirational role model: 

 

Does anybody remember Gumby? This guy can bend in half, and yet his incredible flexibility doesn't weaken him.  He snaps right back, better than ever, ready to be put through the wringer again.  Do you see the application?

Lord, make me pliable.  Mold my heart to Yours. 

This idea reminds me of my favorite worship song of all time, The Desert Song.  

It's the last verse that I love the most. 

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

 I'm waiting for the harvest, Lord.  Empty me of myself and fill me with more of You.

Amen

Life in the Fast Lane

We're back.

We spent just a little over 3 hours up at OHSU meeting with various people who would be involved in this IVF process.  We met with our doctor, we talked to the IVF coordinator, and we hung out in the lab downstairs where they took five (FIVE) vials of my blood.  Please note: Adam only had to give two...and his vials made mine look like the Eiffel Tower. 

The only person we did not get to meet with was the financial counselor ($$$) because she was sick.  So, we had to leave without knowing just how much this process is going to cost.  Maybe, since she canceled on us, we'll get a discount.  Yes?  No.

All joking aside, we walked away committed and excited for all that is to come.  Before the meeting with our doctor, we asked God just to use us as a mouthpiece for Him, to mold our words and our actions to reflect who He is and who we are in Him.  We were so grateful for the chance to do that.

We shared exactly what we believe.  We laid it all out on the line.  We talked about how we believe every life is sacred, about how we believe life begins at conception, and how there will be no embryos discarded.  We made it clear there will be no aborted babies under the veil of 'selective reduction'.  We told our doctor we will consider every life we create to be wholly ours, a child waiting for a chance to be born.  We told him we'd never leave one behind (almost felt like a Marine when I dropped that line....sempre fi, do or die!!)

We shared it all.  And when we were done, our doctor just nodded.  He was absolutely respectful of what we had said, and absolutely on board. 

Basically, here's the bottom line that you've all been waiting for:  We are doing this. 

We're also doing this soon.  We had preliminary blood work done today before we left, after we got back into town I swung by my PCP and picked up some test results to fax up to OHSU, and the rest begins...next week.  If all goes according to schedule, the IVF process will be completed right before Thanksgiving, and we'll know if it was successful right around the first week of December.  If it works, we're looking at a baby (babies?) with an August 2011 birthday.  Reading that makes me giddy.  Will you start praying with us now for this process and for that baby?  Will you pray for the doctors and nurses that we come into contact with at OHSU? 

We feel so strongly that God is leading us down this path, that He is opening doors and clearing the way that He would have us walk.  We don't know why this path was chosen for us, but the farther along we go, the more we realize that maybe it's just not about us.  And let me tell you, that's an amazing feeling. 

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me

Thank you, Matthew West, for putting my thoughts into song this morning: 

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me

What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
Show me there’s a greater purpose,
I could be living right now

This is our prayer for the day.  Show us the bigger picture, Lord.  Help me see how this life isn't about me.  

OHSU in t-minus 2.5 hours.  So excited.  Stay tuned...so much more to come

This one's dedicated to the one I love...

It's true

God gave me you

Distraction

....that's exactly what this is.

The game is on, and my beloved Ducks are choking on a big, fat Arizona Sun Devil pitchfork.  I need to take a step back from the TV, breathe, and remind myself that this is just a game.
[Side note: My intensity over Duck football makes gets my husband excited.  He just looked at me in that way.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  Secret guy turn-on: having your girl scream at the TV and fist pump.  Who knew?]

[Sidenote x2: Darrin just threw an interception.  And Arizona scored again. Can it be halftime yet?]

Anyway.

This week has been pretty amazing, in so many different ways.  We have so many reasons to be thankful, and too many blessings to count.

Those of you who pay careful attention to my facebook wall may have noticed that Adam and I are excited about an upcoming appointment at OHSU on Wednesday.  We are meeting with our potential team of baby-makers.  We can't wait to sit down with them and talk about who we are and what we believe.  We can't wait to learn more about this process.  We feel like we're standing on the 10 yard line, and now all we need is one beautiful throw lobbed into the end zone to seal the deal (excuse the football metaphor, it's on the brain.)

[Sidenote: Duck touchdown! 3 point game.  Get it boys, get it.]

Our appointment is at 9:00, and will start with an hour-long meeting with our doctor.  He'll tell us about the IVF process, and we'll lay out for him exactly what we're comfortable with.  We'll tell him that we believe life begins at the moment of conception.  We'll tell him that we believe every life is precious.  We'll tell him we're coming back for every single baby we create.  That they will all get a chance at life.  That we believe they are our babies just waiting to be born.  We'll tell him that, no matter what, every baby put inside of me will be carried to term.  Period.

After that meeting, we'll be joined by an IVF Coordinator and an IVF Financial Adviser.  The coordinator, should we choose to continue in this process, would become our point-person.  Our main contact at OHSU.  The financial adviser will tell us just how much money it's going to cost us to make these babies.  Boy do we ever have a praise regarding financing IVF.  That'll be a story for another time.

[TOUCHDOWN!!!!! Ducks take the lead!!!!!!  See, you don't even need to watch the game! I got your back ;)]

When we leave OHSU on Wednesday, we should have a much better idea of what the future will look like.  If all goes well, we could be doing an IVF cycle as soon as October.  October.  If it works, we'll have an August 2011 baby.

I don't want to count my ducks before they hatch (there we go again...Ducks on the brain), but I'd be lying to say it doesn't get me excited.  I trust that God has already set His master plan for Breitenstein babies in motion, and I like to talk to Him about how excited I am for Him to reveal it.  I love the excitement I feel as we get closer to the big reveal, and I bet He does too.


This week we had an amazing God moment.  We had the opportunity to meet with a couple who has been there and done that when it comes to IVF.   We had the opportunity to share our fears, to hear their story, and to be incredibly uplifted and encouraged by their wisdom and insight.  Their passion for God, and for this God-given science, spoke to our hearts.  We felt God's presence so strongly in that moment, and we left in absolute awe.  Near the end of our time together, this dear couple led us in prayer, and there was one part that made little tears well up in my eyes:

"Lord, we pray that five years down the road Adam and Mandy will be sitting at their kitchen table, with their babies asleep in their beds, sharing their journey with another young couple facing the same questions that they face now."

Amen, Lord.

Our meeting reminded me of this verse, because our time with this amazing couple reminded me of why God wants us to have good, solid Christian friends to share your walk with. 

“Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.” (Proverbs 19:20)

I believe that once you turn the reigns of your life over to God for Him to fully handle, He will make sure that you get matched up with the right kind of people that you can become true God-friends with.  As iron sharpens iron...

We can only hope that this week sparked a new friendship that will last far into the future, as we both watch our babies--present and future--grow into young men and women who love the Lord.   Let it be, let it be!

[Um...Ducks turned over the ball, almost let Arizona get a touchdown (my heart almost stopped), and then intercepted it.  And then went 3 and out. Arghhhhhh!]

After such an amazing week where we could so clearly see God's hand guiding and leading, I find myself energized and excited.  I can't wait to see all that is in store.

The only bummer?  I caught my first cold of the school year (inevitable), and as I write this, I have two kleenex stuck up my nose (nice mental image, yes?).  I've probably used a good 25 in the time it's taken me to write this.  I considered taking a picture of the pile of used tissues just to prove my point, but thought better of it at the last moment.  Good call?

Until next time, and GO DUCKS!!
[Sorry, but you'll just have to turn on the game to see if we can pull of this win.  I say...we CAN!]

Love, love, and more love,
- A&M

It's a God thing

God is doing some huge (HUGE) things in our life right now.  I stand in absolute awe of His grace and mercy.  Prayers are being answered, needs are being met. God is leading (in a big way, with bright neon lights....clearly He heard my cries for my own personal burning bush) and we are so excited to follow. 

More to come.

"Though sorrow may last for a night, JOY comes with the morning"

Psalms 30:5